The Smear



Scene 1:     

The camera opens slowly to reveal black smoke pretty much everywhere.  And there is thunder.  A single flute is pumping up the audience.  Then, without a drop of preparation, the audience hears a nibbling sound.  The smoke blows away to reveal a single mother breast-feeding three young boys in a bad-ass living room.  The audience now hears soothing music with pianos and more flutes, which will calm them.  She’s wearing an all black apron with holsters for the kids.  Basically she’s a loner, with babies.  Nobody messed with the single mom until one stupid day a killer with a chunk on his shoulder goes crazy.  The crazy killer taps on the single mother’s living room door and says “Hey, I’m going to kill you pretty soon.”  And she say’s “By pretty soon, you mean never.”  But her impropriety majorly pisses off the killer.  And then, out of nowhere, he opens the door.  The single mom stands up hard.  And, with boys still suckling, she begins to spin on one hoof.  (In slow motion, the killer’s smile flips into a frown.)  The boys’ tiny limbs flop on the killer’s face and smooshes his teeth into liquid.  The killer falls backwards into a bunch of things.  And flute sounds are literally out of control when the single mom smears pap all the killer’s mouth and face.  But then, the audience hears a single flute wailing in the background to represent a bunch of single mothers.  And the flute gives birth to boys…three boys. 




-I feel better.